Good Memories Are Built

Think about all your fondest memories. Your first kiss. Your favorite vacation. The time your life changed for the better.

Imagine what it would be like to NOT have those memories.

Imagine what it would be like to have MORE fond memories.

So, what causes these valuable "I'm a better person because I experienced that" memories?

To figure this out, let's break it down:

• You recall them because they are significant.


• They are significant because you were involved.


• You were involved because you opted to be actively engaged in the activity.


• You were actively engaged because you took the risk - the first step - in embracing whatever (and wherever) that activity would take you.

Bottom line: All these great memories are the result of you initiating (or at least responding to) whatever the NEW activity was. If you hadn't been open to trying that new experience or had the courage to take those steps to be involved, you would not have those memories.

And what a shame that would be. Especially since enjoying those memories are simply a result of something YOU control: Actively trying something new.

So, you want more memories? You want a fuller legacy? Get more active. Consider those dreams you've had about visiting a special place or connecting (or re-connecting?) with someone or attempting that new thing that you've always wanted to try. Those memories won't happen until you take that first step.

And there's no time like the present to create more good memories. (You're worth it!)

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Whatchu Lookin' At?

I recently had an odd experience while walking my dog. We were in the back yard playing fetch with her favorite ball when I threw it and it bounced off a birdbath and ricocheted into a flower bed. My dog proceeded to run around, sniffing, and looking (unsuccessfully) for the ball in the wrong part of the yard.

She's not the smartest dog (we refer to her as our "special needs dog"), so wanting to help her out, I walked over to her, got her attention, and energetically pointed to the bushes where the ball was saying "Look!"

Well, she looked alright. At my pointing finger.

Over and over again. Me saying "Look! Get it! There it is!" followed by my dog, consistently, keeping a laser-fixed stare at my finger.

I realized that the action of my hand/finger moving towards the target (her favorite ball) actually distracted from her prize. She was so fixated by my pointing, she failed to see the more important thing I was pointing at.

Then I thought how people sometimes get the same way. Instead of looking at the valuable prize (wisdom, insights, etc.) we often get so enamored with the pointer (a brilliant expert, a dynamic speaker, etc.), we miss what they are working so hard to point towards.

Bottom line: Those people/things in our lives that provide direction are usually not the answer. They are merely pointing to the answer. It is up to us to look in the right direction for the actual insight itself. If we fail to do this, we will fail to get that prize we ultimately desire in life.

And it's almost always better than a slobbery old ball.

So, where are YOU looking these days?

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Fatal Benchmarking Mistakes

Much has been said of benchmarking – the act of looking to best-in-class companies and measuring yourself against their methods. Of course, the expectation is to gauge how you compare with industry leaders, identify where you can improve, and adjust your methods to achieve those same best-in-class results. Most fail because they are going about benchmarking in the wrong way.

The second most common mistake is to simply adopt what the benchmark is doing. This often fails because your culture and/or circumstances are different than the benchmark organization. The better approach is to adapt their methods so they make sense in your unique situation. Consider how you can improve the best practice by tailoring it to your business.

But the biggest mistake, by far, is that people tend to focus only on the benchmark’s tactics. Attempting to copy present-day actions will certainly help – but only in the short term. The problem with this approach is that legitimate industry-leading organizations are continuously improving. To adopt a best practice and stick with it will only ensure that your competition will eventually pass you by. A fatal mistake.

The key characteristics of world-class companies that make them different and better are not just what they do – but how they think! Why do they consider things the way they do? What are the priorities? What are the non-negotiables? How do they create consistency when circumstances are constantly changing? How do they deal with all the swirling details that we all have to juggle and, with essentially the same resources, achieve better results?

When you benchmark the right way, you gain insights that matter – and that make a long-lasting improvement to the health of your business. The choice is yours: tap into the solutions that will spark your sustainable breakthrough or adopt a short-term approach that will struggle to gain traction and will ultimately fail.

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

The Key To Progress

We all want to achieve better results. There are hundreds (thousands?) of books and "experts" out there selling how "attitude determines altitude" - and other ridiculous babble. Let's be clear: No one ever got better results simply because they went to their internal "happy place". Puh-leeeze!

The simple truth is that nothing ever improves without action! The ONLY way to realize progress is to move. Do. Initiate. Start. Act!

Here's proof: Think about the times you've been most productive in your life. Even a simple example like spring cleaning.

What gets the best results?

1. You identify the criteria for what you want to keep and what you want to remove.
2. You get in motion. Every moment you are grabbing something and then not letting go of it until it ends where it will go. Trash. Sell. Donate. Store. Keep. It doesn't matter what you grab - what matters is that you DO something.

And keep at it.

No painful, drawn-out mulling. Grab object. Consider criteria. Place in proper category.

Decide. Action. Decide. Action.

Very soon, things begin to shift. Yes, things don't always look pretty at the beginning, but soon you see progress...which becomes motivational...and, ultimately over time, results in achieving your goal.

Not because of some complicated "secret" or "intention" (puh-leeze!) But because you took that first step.

Followed by the next step. And another and another.

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Priority: Plan or People?

No one argues that having a plan is important to the success of any business. As the saying goes: "Plan the work, then work the plan".

But in this world of limited development resources and finite time, it is vital to prioritize our efforts to ensure the very best results. So in the midst of the battle for your attention, which should be the default choice when the line is drawn in the sand?

Develop your Plan or develop your People?

World-class companies have an insight about this dilemma. They've seen how circumstances constantly shift and change - requiring our plans to adjust as we go. Sure, the general direction of our strategy may remain the same, but the fact that we have to evolve the plan in order to stay relevant is an indicator - much of what we plan never happens because of future adjustments. Arguably, the time/energy invested in those parts of the plan that evaporate is wasted. So, the answer is:

Develop your People!

Here's the reason: A team of "robots" waiting to be told what to do when circumstances call for changing the plan is always a losing proposition. If we develop our team so that they can adapt to any situation; they can work together effectively despite the ambiguous circumstances, and create value. Then you have a resource even more valuable (because they execute) than a well-intentioned plan. In fact, they can be trained to actually develop plans and make relevant/in-the-moment decisions as they encounter the unpredictable forces of your hyper-competetive workplace.

Plans are vital - however People trump the Plan every day of the week. So do both - but place the priority on your people. An A-Team will always find a way to achieve the extraordinary.

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

WWYCW?

Have you ever noticed how often companies seem to focus on the wrong things? For example, look at any company's policy/procedures and ask yourself the question: Is each one of these bureaucratic hoops to be jumped through for the benefit of the customer...or their company?

We've all seen the little rubber wrist bands with acronyms - standing for a wide variety of thought-provoking causes. Here's an acronym that reflects a cause that all successful business people are passionate about:

WWYCW?

It actually has two distinct meanings. The first meaning is What Would Your Customer Want? This is critical guidance when faced with solving a problem or making any decision during your work day. If your customer is always the center target of your focus, and you take into consideration how your decision/action will affect them, then you are already well beyond what "ordinary" businesses do. You become different and better!

The second meaning is the next most important meaning - What Would Your Competition Want? Make no mistake - your competition wants you to be average, predictable, slower, less attentive, less engaging, less efficient, more greedy, more selfish, and less thoughtful about your business. The reason is so you will make it easier for them to win in your industry. The reason it's important to know what your competition wants is so you can do the opposite! They want you to zig? Then you should zag!

Just a quick reminder about two things to consistently consider to achieve consistent success. (Feel free to make some bands if you'd like!)

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Considering Consideration

There seems to be a lot of concern recently about a lack of consideration in society. In particular, I find it very interesting to see a bizarre (and incorrect) application of the concept.

The politically correct (and logically INcorrect) interpretation is behaving in a way that will never offend or be contrary to what the other person wants. That is not being considerate. That is called "acquiescence. I just call it "caving in". Either way, it inappropriately disregards your opinions - which makes it INconsiderate of you, now doesn't it?

Being truly considerate begins with mutual respect. Mutual, as in TWO way. Always doing what the other desires is not mutual. Placing the other person in a position worthy of respect and consideration is good, as long as it is accompanied by an equal value on your own worth. In fact, undermining your value for the sake of others (who might be unreasonable or too easily offended) is a perverted sense of humility. This erroroneous position does not respect the diversity that YOUR perspective brings to the situation. (Isn't it interesting that some people, in the act of "championing diversity" actually deny people's opinions that differ from their own.) That lacks integrity.

The correct interpretation of being considerate is simply being aware of the other person (in thought, word, and deed) and literally considering how your behaviors could impact him/her before you take action. Once you have sincerely taken them into consideration, your behaviors are a separate issue.

Bottom line: Consider the impact your behaviors have on others, but have the courage to honestly act on YOUR legitimate preferences. They are JUST AS valuable as ANYone else's. Of course, the WAY you do this is the key. Open, honest, and diplomatic dialogue is important for developing healthy relationships that create mutual benefit. To be genuinely MUTUAL, everyone (YOU included) must be considered.

Think about it. But more importantly do something about it...today!

Are You Misspending Your Life?

We are all faced with a particular dilemma each and every day: Not enough resources to accomplish the things we want to do. Every day, we face choices. Each day, we make decisions.

Are you who you always wanted to be - living the life you always wanted to lead? Are you getting the outcomes you hoped for most?

With every tick of the clock, we invest a second of our life that we can never get back. We have limited time, and other resources: Energy (you have to sleep sometime), Money (we always would prefer more), Knowledge (what have you learned lately?), Skills (have you made the effort to master the abilities you need most?)...the list goes on.

Interestingly, there's a similarity among people that have their act together. Almost all have had a significant emotional/life-threatening experience (whether themselves or a loved one) that motivated them to identify what really, deeply, profoundly, personally matters to them in life. These foundational truths become the priorities for every decision they make. Being aligned internally creates the integrity we all see from the outside.

There is no reason to wait for a life-threatening experience! Commit to investing the time and effort to be introspective. Ponder what makes you unique. Consider what you value most in life. These will direct you toward your purpose. Once you have those "north stars" to guide you, you can determine how to maximize (say "yes" to) the activities that create your dreams and minimize (say "no" to) those activities that do not contribute towards your unique purpose.

Don't squander another minute on behaviors that don't get you the life you desire most. You don't get a second chance. And your first/only chance is slipping away every moment you delay...

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Proactively Reactive?

I had a very interesting discussion with a senior leadership team I've been coaching. Like many of us, they are in an industry that fluctuates wildly based on changes in the economy, technology, competition, and marketplace preferences. There were some strong opinions about being "proactive" versus "reactive".

The common thinking is that being proactive always trumps being reactive.

As is so often the case, common thinking is wrong.

Don't get me wrong, being proactive is a very good thing under the right circumstances. The problem is that many leaders mistake being reactive as a bad thing. Like anything else, the truth is that a person can react well or poorly.

Reacting merely comes from experiencing something that is unexpected. Given that Life is constantly changing and we can't control everything, the most effective approach is to be able to react well when the need arises. Yes, be proactive with those things that we can influence in advance (which should be much of the time), but be open to adapting/reacting when the situation warrants it.

In a way, it is a lot like the Leadership versus Management argument. The truth is that both are valuable skills - assuming they are used properly as needed. Lead well whenever you can. Manage well those things that need to be managed.

Just do them well - regardless - and you'll be fine.

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Nice Is NOT Enough!

It seems that people have become more focused on service as a competitive edge. That is good. The problem is that, compared to proven world-class companies, they are going about it all wrong.

To truly provide superior service, you need to provide more than just niceties. Training on how to smile and say please and thank you will not create an engaging, value-added experience for your customers. In addition to developing a caring relationship with with them, you have to provide legitimate expertise that helps them accomplish whatever they can't do on their own. (Think about why they are looking for your products/services in the first place!)

What the most successful know: It's not either/or...it's both/and.

Not only is service you provide critical, but the way you provide that service is critical as well. Pretty much anyone can provide one. It's only those who can succeed in both aspects will have the competitive edge and triumph in their industry.

So, do an informal assessment today (preferably with your team...and your customers!) - How does your product/service compare to your customer's expectations/wants? How does your offerings compare to their other options (your competition)? How does the experience (how you serve them) compare to their expectations/wants? How does it compare to the other options?

If you want to exceed all their expectations and earn their loyalty, you'll need to deliver excellence in all aspects of their experience...with both relationship AND expertise.

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

New DAY Resolutions

Having a big, audacious goal is wonderful - but the only way to achieve it is one step at a time. So, instead of focusing on tackling the large-scale resolutions for the new year, try accomplishing them by focusing on the incremental improvements EVERY day.

Simply said, do what world-class leaders do: Resolve to be better today than you were yesterday. Every day, take a measurable advancement toward your larger goal.

Take time daily to consider specific goals for that day. Something do-able that is a legitimate improvement regarding your physical, mental, emotional, financial, or spiritual health. Ideally, some small thing in each catagory - but don't aim too high at first. The strategy is to grow into the habit of making healthy habits! Perhaps start with one area each day - rotate them or prioritize them based on what motivates YOU best.

Then (this is critical), you must DO something that day. Your efforts must be DAILY in order to create a habit. The key is to NOT break the chain of behaviors. No matter what, do SOMEthing. It is the consistency that ingrains the behavior into your life for ongoing, sustainable results.

One great tip is to establish a "5 minute kick start". You can do ANYthing for 5 minutes - then decide at that point if you want to continue. (It's astounding how often a 5 minute workout - or any other temporarily distasteful "good for you" activity - can turn into a full-blown workout, just from starting!) You'll find that it eventually gets to be a habit...one that helps make you the "YOU!" you've aspired to be all your life!

Think about it. But more importantly do something about it...today!

Bringing Learning To Life

Sometimes I get really frustrated at how people settle for less than they should. Have you ever asked yourself why more people/organizations aren't achieving their potential?

So, how do the most successful leaders bridge the gap between knowing and doing - and get better results that the average people? There are several keys to this elusive process:

Value it. Identify WHY you want to do it. Consider your motivation for starting - regarding the ultimate outcome or benefit. Many times, people surprise themselves by realizing they really do NOT care enough about the outcome to initiate action. If you are sufficiently motivated, then this provides the fuel for your efforts - but you still need the rest of the formula. Your plan must include accountability throughout the remainder of this 4 step process.

Know it. Here's a surprising factoid: People generally don't fail because they are ignorant. In my experience, about 85% of the time, I hear people say "I know that", but then they fail to DO that effective behavior. Those who get results make sure to know What AND How. Often, people think they know, but there is a gap between what they know (vague, big picture) and what they need to know (relevant details). This extra effort separates the ordinary from the extraordinary.

Do it. Skills require more than knowledge. The next step is to translate internal knowledge to external behaviors. Experiment. Practice. Try new things. The key is START! Getting "hands on" with the idea as soon as possible is vital. Habits/success are created by consistent behaviors. Make sure you are practicing your new skills every day. The cumulative total of your actions is what ultimately gets the results.

Share it. Once you've actually achieved some level of success, the best way to solidify the experience (for yourself and for your organization) is to teach it to others. Provide opportunities for colleagues to attempt the new behaviors in the same kind of process you used. You'll find that "teaching others to fish" will help you to multiply your results AND leave a legacy of excellence - optimizing YOUR life!

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Your Personal Pre-Shift Meeting

Wouldn't it be great if EVERYone consistently did the right thing on a regular basis? How do the best leaders accomplish this? Well, one example is Ritz-Carlton. Like other world-class companies, they are known for consistent behaviors because they stay focused on common values - and the behaviors that reflect those values.

The key is consistency of communication and accountability. Every Ritz-Carlton property - and every department at each property - hold a pre-shift meeting where everyone participates in a reminder about that day's assigned value. As part of this process, they discuss examples of what behaviors have/can bring that value to life for that day (with the understanding that every value should be lived each and every day), with ongoing feedback. Since the information is constantly "top of mind", it becomes easier (and more natural) to reinforce what behaviors are appropriate and why.

You can do this for yourself! Generate YOUR most important values/standards and then at the beginning of each day, one at a time, focus on how to bring that day's value to life in action - whether it be with journaling, meditation, or discussions with a colleague. Then rotate around to the beginning of your list when you get to the end. Consider it a daily action plan - and an opportunity to communicate through word AND deed what you value most.

Over time, you will find what Ritz-Carlton has found - the behaviors that reflect YOUR personal values will become a habit, and you will enjoy the benefits of a life of true integrity. Simple (and low cost) actions with profound results.

Think about it. But more importantly do something about it...today!

Discovering Your/Their REAL Priorities

Sometimes, interpreting priorities can seem difficult. Whether making decisions for yourself or trying to better understand someone else, getting a handle on inner values is a critical step in this very important process.

So, is there a surefire way to eliminate the mystery of someone's true internal priorities? Absolutely! All you need to do is watch where they invest their resources of time, money, and energy.

When something is important to a person, they will spend more hours focusing on that issue. You can easily measure how much time and money they spend and observe how much effort they choose to spend as well. Yes, choices. These behaviors are not by accident - they align with what's inside. Inner values/priorities leak out in the form of behaviors. This is why we typically communicate better in person - depending more on observable behaviors than merely relying on their words.

Keep in mind that the same goes for you as well.

If you're ever unsure about what is most important to you, think about the things that you choose to focus on every day. What are your priorities when spending the most precious elements of Life (time and energy) or the token of the value we bring to society (money)? These will be very strong indicators of where your internal passion/values are.

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Getting Your OWN PhD

Yes, we all agree that developing yourself is an important strategy for improving your results in life. But who has time/resources to pursue learning all the things that can help you grow to who you want to ultimately be - both professionally and personally?

You do.

Want to know a fast, easy, and inexpensive way to grow dramatically in the direction of your unique, personal dreams in just one year's time? Instead of the huge commitment involved in enrolling at a university for an advanced degree, create your own customized program in the living laboratory of your life! Try this little strategy:

Identify the top 6 areas of knowledge or skills that you need most to attain the professional or personal goals of your dreams. Next, dedicate 2 months per topic and begin researching the "best of" information available to you. You can begin with as simple as an Internet search. Try "(topic)" + "best" + "list" (add other search words such as "thought leader" or other terms to best target your research.) As you land on valuable information, save/print/study/learn the information as you need to develop you for the attainment of your goals.

On your terms.

If your goal is skill-based, you can augment your online studies with local hands-on opportunities (locate professionals in your area to help you experience the skill-building you want.) Maybe this looks like job shadowing. Maybe it is a local trades/craft class you can take at night/on weekends. Get creative! Again, YOU drive your development.

The beauty of this approach is threefold. 1. You can do this on your schedule - when it is convenient for you. 2. You can get as in-depth and detailed as you desire - in ANY direction of content, with no one else adding irrelevant content that you don't want. 3. It is virtually a free "directed independent study" program - created by you - for you.

Bottom line: With minimal investment of time, money, and effort - you can make tremendous strides in your own development. Don't be discouraged by the expensive, long-term formal education options. You have alternatives! Go out and make the opportunities that are at your fingertips each and every day. With a little discipline, you'll be amazed at what you will accomplish with a little extra effort each and every day.

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Are You Being Unreasonable?

Being "unreasonable" typically is seen as a negative thing. Literally "not being able to be reasoned with" should be seen as a weakness, right? Out of the mainstream? Inappropriate?

So...what about all those leaders who ushered in breakthrough movements? People like the Wright brothers, who invented powered flight - against everyone else's ridicule? Or like Thomas Edison, who dared to insist on electrically-powered light/machines in homes everywhere? Or Steve Jobs? Wasn't it "unreasonable" to try and launch a personal computer that used "real" fonts and was focused on ease of use? (Not to mention challenging the music industry with iPods, or the mobile phone industry with iPhones, or the tablet market with the iPad...)

Is it possible that the only time significant breakthroughs occur is when some FINALLY takes a stand and becomes "unreasonable"?

There's a great quote by George Bernard Shaw: "Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people".

Consider your dreams - the new breakthrough vision of the future (in whatever arena, big or small) and ask "Am I passionate about my idea enough to be seen as "unreasonable" in the minds of all the myopic "keep with the safe way we've always done it" people that surround me?" If not, I challenge you to find an idea that you ARE passionate enough to risk unabashedly launching it into this world. You deserve the legacy you create on purpose - but it requires you bringing something new, different and better to life.

Think about it. But more importantly do something about it...today!

Who Do You Think You Are?

Think about the times you've had a conflict with someone - or there's been a different opinion about an issue between your company and your customer base. Notice a trend/pattern? Virtually every time, the conflict starts when there are differing perceptions.

How do you fix this BEFORE it becomes a costly problem?

Last week, I was working with a Fortune 500 company who had a proactive solution. Starting with their employees, they arranged for everyone to complete various simple assessments - as a way to initiate discussion about different issues. (You can download some free samples at http://www.smallworldalliance.com/free-business-tools.html)

After you and your colleague(s) fill one out, simply compare perceptions/opinions and make the opportunity to discuss where you are coming from. [Note: Any assessment by itself does nothing - it's just an excuse to have a discussion, where the real value is.] This process gets everything out so you can get on the same page - or at least understand (with no unpleasant surprises) how you differ. This approach addressed nearly all assumptions and allowed them to resolve issues before they became costly problems.

The bonus? Approaching their customers with the same kinds of questions in a less-formal/"no assessment form needed" part of their natural discussions had similar outcomes: Better clarity/understanding/communication for less conflict and better results.

Not bad for an investment of FREE, eh?

Ready to make things better? Start addressing big issues before they become bigger problems!

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Connecting For The Long-Term

Have you ever thought about how to create raving fans or advocates for your business? Working with Disney, Apple, Ritz-Carlton, Nordstrom, and others, I've seen the approach these successful companies use to consistently engage their customers - both externally and internally (their employees). It can be stated in this simple phrase:

Reach their hearts, then teach their minds.

Of course, logically being a great value is critical to success, but facts and figures will never truly create passionate relationships. Before you can "prove" your worth, you must first reach their hearts with a shared purpose, build your relationship/credibility, THEN seal the deal with your (logical) products and services.

Once you form that deeper link with what they truly value, then the rest is just details that evolve over time. If your connection remains dynamic and value-added, you will (like every healthy relationship) serve to develop each other over time. Each adding value in a dance that gains momentum, grows in depth, goes the distance.

No complicated formula or expensive technology required. Just authentic person-to-person interactions that make a difference in the things that matter. We regularly see this with the loyalty leaders out there. There's no reason why you can't do this with your employees (first) and (then) your external customers. Create opportunities to have meaningful discussions about Values, Vision, what they truly, deep down care about most. Then build on those connections each and every day to provide a pattern of consistency. Invest in these efforts now and you'll discover a growing list of passionate advocates for you in no time!

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Anticipating Customer Needs

How do companies like Apple create products and services that we want - even before we knew we wanted them? The answer to this is what will set you apart as different/better to your customers!

The truth is that customers don't always know what they want next. They rarely are able to say anything more than "better, faster, cheaper - now". Next is a mystery to them. But it doesn't have to be for you.

Let's break it down: Your customer knows what they like (not always what they want). You know your industry - especially the behind-the-scenes technical aspects. We can't expect our customers to be able to articulate anything other than some incremental improvement to what they already have. Bringing your customers' future desires to life is your job. Only you can build what they will want...if you can bridge the gap.

How do world-class companies do it? They work hard at being intimately knowledgeable and understanding of their customers - and combine that with their own technical expertise to project what future products/services can satisfy their deepest desires.

Uncover the why beneath your customers wants, and you'll have clues as to where to strategically leap. Once you've accomplished creating the next big thing, you merely have to engage them by compellingly communicating how the new product/service connects with that deeper want.

Anticipating customer needs isn't about focus groups or surveys or "expert opinions". You have a perspective that your customers will never have. It is all about truly understanding them and using your technical expertise to build their future - for their benefit. Because exceeding their expectations is a genuine priority for you. (When it is, you will always be rewarded.)

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!

Breaking The Comfort Cycle

Want to make a dramatic improvement in your life? Here's a great place to start: Breaking the human nature cycle we all encounter that goes something like this...

1. You realize you're uncomfortable with some experience (public speaking, new technology, etc.) so you convince yourself that you'll never be any good at it.
2. You avoid doing that thing you're uncomfortable with (because it's painful.)
3. A situation arises where you can't avoid doing it (that's just the way it is.)
4. You don't prepare sufficiently (because you avoid the painful discomfort as much as possible).
5. You have another bad experience (the natural consequences of not practicing/preparing enough).
6. You convince yourself that you'll never be any good at it and swear that you'll never do it again (which is not true - if you practiced, you would be better.)
7. Repeat.

Avoiding something that is part of professional (and/or personal) life is foolish. An unavoidable situation will arise eventually - and it will continue to be painful until you learn from it and break through the discomfort.

Accepting these uncomfortable trials with courage and discipline will break the vicious cycle. Not only will it get "less uncomfortable" (not everything in life eventually gets comfortable), but you'll benefit from getting better at the experience.

Discipline and hard work on things that are uncomfortable aren't very sexy, but it is the only way to gut through these situations. A little extra effort can earn you that breakthrough you've been wanting.

Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!