There seems to be a lot of concern recently about a lack of consideration in society. In particular, I find it very interesting to see a bizarre (and incorrect) application of the concept.
The politically correct (and logically INcorrect) interpretation is behaving in a way that will never offend or be contrary to what the other person wants. That is not being considerate. That is called "acquiescence. I just call it "caving in". Either way, it inappropriately disregards your opinions - which makes it INconsiderate of you, now doesn't it?
Being truly considerate begins with mutual respect. Mutual, as in TWO way. Always doing what the other desires is not mutual. Placing the other person in a position worthy of respect and consideration is good, as long as it is accompanied by an equal value on your own worth. In fact, undermining your value for the sake of others (who might be unreasonable or too easily offended) is a perverted sense of humility. This erroroneous position does not respect the diversity that YOUR perspective brings to the situation. (Isn't it interesting that some people, in the act of "championing diversity" actually deny people's opinions that differ from their own.) That lacks integrity.
The correct interpretation of being considerate is simply being aware of the other person (in thought, word, and deed) and literally considering how your behaviors could impact him/her before you take action. Once you have sincerely taken them into consideration, your behaviors are a separate issue.
Bottom line: Consider the impact your behaviors have on others, but have the courage to honestly act on YOUR legitimate preferences. They are JUST AS valuable as ANYone else's. Of course, the WAY you do this is the key. Open, honest, and diplomatic dialogue is important for developing healthy relationships that create mutual benefit. To be genuinely MUTUAL, everyone (YOU included) must be considered.
Think about it. But more importantly do something about it...today!
Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Friday, May 27, 2011
Life/Work Lessons From The Front Line
A colleague recently shared some remarks made by a career soldier:
1. Remember, if the enemy is in range, then you are too.
2. All cover is temporary.
3. Above all, remember your mission.
4. When in battle, soldiers are less focused on winning for the country than fighting for their buddy/team.
These simple statements hold profound truths that apply to our work - and our personal lives.
1. The closer you get to engaging any activity, the chances of danger/failure goes up. Talking about taking action is risk-free because you aren't really doing anything other than talking. Of course, you gain nothing as well. Real living requires stepping forward and confronting the challenge. Remembering that those situations can "bite back" is critical. Choose wisely.
2. When colleagues/friends offer help, they expect it will be for a specific window of time. No one wants to be left hanging or obligated for long-term support when it should only be a temporary situation. To make the best use of their support - and not wear out your welcome - plan, coordinate and execute accordingly.
3. Life and work are full of distractions. It's easy to get focused on the many micro details and lose track of the macro big picture of why we're doing what we're doing. Reminding ourselves of our ultimate purpose/goal is critical in making the most of our time and resources. It's all about priorities.
4. Workers that are part of an organization aren't necessarily loyal to the company - they are more connected with the people they work closely with inside the company. Anyone who wants to create a culture of loyalty must create an environment that is conducive to people engaging each other at the team level.
As you enjoy this holiday weekend, consider the value these insights provide and thank a veteran for keeping us safe/secure enough to be able to focus on life and career.
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
1. Remember, if the enemy is in range, then you are too.
2. All cover is temporary.
3. Above all, remember your mission.
4. When in battle, soldiers are less focused on winning for the country than fighting for their buddy/team.
These simple statements hold profound truths that apply to our work - and our personal lives.
1. The closer you get to engaging any activity, the chances of danger/failure goes up. Talking about taking action is risk-free because you aren't really doing anything other than talking. Of course, you gain nothing as well. Real living requires stepping forward and confronting the challenge. Remembering that those situations can "bite back" is critical. Choose wisely.
2. When colleagues/friends offer help, they expect it will be for a specific window of time. No one wants to be left hanging or obligated for long-term support when it should only be a temporary situation. To make the best use of their support - and not wear out your welcome - plan, coordinate and execute accordingly.
3. Life and work are full of distractions. It's easy to get focused on the many micro details and lose track of the macro big picture of why we're doing what we're doing. Reminding ourselves of our ultimate purpose/goal is critical in making the most of our time and resources. It's all about priorities.
4. Workers that are part of an organization aren't necessarily loyal to the company - they are more connected with the people they work closely with inside the company. Anyone who wants to create a culture of loyalty must create an environment that is conducive to people engaging each other at the team level.
As you enjoy this holiday weekend, consider the value these insights provide and thank a veteran for keeping us safe/secure enough to be able to focus on life and career.
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Becoming A "Clutch" Leader
After watching several intense sports match ups this week, I noticed that something interesting happens at critical moments in each game: Leaders - both on the field and off - make decisions (or not) and take action (or not) that ultimately determines the outcome. Oftentimes, in the battle of two opposing teams, one leader will "choke" when everything is at stake.
What creates success in these high-pressure scenarios? What brings leaders through "in the clutch"?
When I was in charge of leadership initiatives at Disney, it was interesting to see what set the most effective leaders apart from the average leaders. A recent study done for the US military reveals some of the same insights that my team discovered when exploring what made the most significant difference:
How do you measure up when it comes to these traits? What life experiences can you get involved in (now!) that can help you better develop these traits?
Your future teams - and your leadership career - will reflect your actions today regarding your leadership during difficult times. Do you want to be known as the leader who comes through in the clutch? Then...
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
What creates success in these high-pressure scenarios? What brings leaders through "in the clutch"?
When I was in charge of leadership initiatives at Disney, it was interesting to see what set the most effective leaders apart from the average leaders. A recent study done for the US military reveals some of the same insights that my team discovered when exploring what made the most significant difference:
- Focus - Are you focused on the details that strategically relevant to this particular situation? Can you ignore any superfluous activity while leading through the challenge?
- Discipline - Are you able to consistently follow up and generate accountability? Are you a legitimate role model with integrity?
- Adaptability - Are you able to learn from the past, yet let go of everything that doesn't serve you or your team in this unique situation? Is there another (different) right answer?
- Being Present - Are you able to "fly by the seat of your pants" and make decisions during the "real time" process of gathering problem solving information?
- Fear/Desire - Are you appropriately motivated (either by fear or desire) enough to passionately move forward - despite the circumstances?
How do you measure up when it comes to these traits? What life experiences can you get involved in (now!) that can help you better develop these traits?
Your future teams - and your leadership career - will reflect your actions today regarding your leadership during difficult times. Do you want to be known as the leader who comes through in the clutch? Then...
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Results, Not Effort
I'm noticing a growing problem in the workplace today. More and more people are defending their value based on how "hard" they are working - as if the amount of effort they expend means anything.
Those who know me know that I value hard work (I have no patience for laziness - in thought OR deed!), but working a lot and accomplishing little is moronic.
There, I said it.
If a logger works hard, spending all day trying to cut down a big tree with a penknife when they could be using a chainsaw, do we applaud their effort? Of course not. We call him foolish! Loggers are valued by how many trees they cut down. The amount of time or effort they spend doesn't add any additional value. It simply isn't relevant to the outcome.
The weird thing about human nature is that we tend to judge others by their results while we judge ourselves by our intent. [Enter loud buzzer sound here.] Sorry. This doesn't (and will never) be acceptable to any logical, fair-minded person.
The measuring criteria is results. Period.
In the real world, we earn value by creating it. Effort and time are things that are spent. Hopefully, our energy and time is invested in a way that creates more value than we used. If not, we chose poorly. If so, then we are growing our resources and influence - and benefit because of that.
Value is defined by the one "purchasing" the outcome - whether an employer or the recipient of the effort. An employee who can create ten quality widgets an hour (regardless of effort) will always be worth more than someone who creates less. If you are exerting more time/effort than others on a particular activity and producing less, rethink your approach. Either learn do be more effective or switch to something that is more aligned with your personal strengths.
Spending more time and effort defending your lack of results is, well, an additional waste of time and effort...because it will not result in a better result. It just sounds like whining (definition of whining = "anger coming out of too small a hole." Ha!)
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
Those who know me know that I value hard work (I have no patience for laziness - in thought OR deed!), but working a lot and accomplishing little is moronic.
There, I said it.
If a logger works hard, spending all day trying to cut down a big tree with a penknife when they could be using a chainsaw, do we applaud their effort? Of course not. We call him foolish! Loggers are valued by how many trees they cut down. The amount of time or effort they spend doesn't add any additional value. It simply isn't relevant to the outcome.
The weird thing about human nature is that we tend to judge others by their results while we judge ourselves by our intent. [Enter loud buzzer sound here.] Sorry. This doesn't (and will never) be acceptable to any logical, fair-minded person.
The measuring criteria is results. Period.
In the real world, we earn value by creating it. Effort and time are things that are spent. Hopefully, our energy and time is invested in a way that creates more value than we used. If not, we chose poorly. If so, then we are growing our resources and influence - and benefit because of that.
Value is defined by the one "purchasing" the outcome - whether an employer or the recipient of the effort. An employee who can create ten quality widgets an hour (regardless of effort) will always be worth more than someone who creates less. If you are exerting more time/effort than others on a particular activity and producing less, rethink your approach. Either learn do be more effective or switch to something that is more aligned with your personal strengths.
Spending more time and effort defending your lack of results is, well, an additional waste of time and effort...because it will not result in a better result. It just sounds like whining (definition of whining = "anger coming out of too small a hole." Ha!)
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
Gaining The Power To Make A Difference
Had an interesting conversation with a client last week about making a difference. He said he wanted to but felt powerless to actually make it happen. Here are some relevant insights/options that might be relevant to what you are going through:
First of all, all power is actually based on the influence you have in a particular situation - either over things or people.
When I was in charge of Leadership initiatives for the Disney Institute, my team discovered that the most successful leaders at Disney first influenced people so that they could affect things and lead people (followers) accordingly.
That said, there are many different ways to gain power/influence:
Bottom line: The most sustainable strategy is to be a person of integrity and connect with people - proving that you are trustworthy and care about them. Then develop yourself with what you know (education) and what you can do (skill). Who you know and what you have may ebb and flow with time, but relationships and abilities (when properly maintained) will provide all the influence and power you'll need to make a difference.
Have you identified what legacy you want to leave? What is your passion? What worthwhile goals do you have that help those you care most about?
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
First of all, all power is actually based on the influence you have in a particular situation - either over things or people.
When I was in charge of Leadership initiatives for the Disney Institute, my team discovered that the most successful leaders at Disney first influenced people so that they could affect things and lead people (followers) accordingly.
That said, there are many different ways to gain power/influence:
- What you have - When you have money/resources, you are of value to others and can influence accordingly. Keep in mind that your "stuff" is not you. If your resources go away, so does you influence/power.
- Who you know - Are you influential with those who are influential? Meet them, get to know them, and be worthy of their trust/respect.
- What you know - Develop yourself so that you know information or have skills regarding something of value to others. An important thing to know is what matters to the people you want to make a difference with - and what is currently influencing that situation.
- Who you are - Do people care about you? Do they admire you? Do they fear you? If so, they will be willing to do things for you - including tap into their resources. (FYI: The fear condition is always short-term and always backfires.)
Bottom line: The most sustainable strategy is to be a person of integrity and connect with people - proving that you are trustworthy and care about them. Then develop yourself with what you know (education) and what you can do (skill). Who you know and what you have may ebb and flow with time, but relationships and abilities (when properly maintained) will provide all the influence and power you'll need to make a difference.
Have you identified what legacy you want to leave? What is your passion? What worthwhile goals do you have that help those you care most about?
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
And Then Comes...The Judgment
One of my current clients is a new international media company - full of young, fresh-faced employees that want to change the world. Very exciting stuff. I'm loving the high-energy, the fearless attitudes, and the willingness to be creative/innovative. All these characteristics are worth their weight in gold.
Their problem? They've discovered a troubling trend. They'll select an idea, then all start working out different aspects of that idea to being it into production, then - something invariably derails the process. Again and again, someone on the team (different every scenario) does something that causes the rest of the carefully laid dominoes to fall.
Bummer.
They've come to realize that the common denominator is "bad judgment". Their zeal, overdone, becomes a liability.
The key ingredient to good judgment is experience. Judgment requires comparing things and making an educated guess - a guess based on probability - gathered from the experience with the various aspects of the situation.
For example, if I'm in my car trying to pull out into busy highway traffic, I use my past experience to gauge the speed of the oncoming cars, the opening between certain cars on the road, my car's pick-up performance, my reflexes, etc. Then I act.
If my judgment is good, then I merge seamlessly into the flow of traffic. I have successfully "judged" the importance I placed on all the elements in an appropriate way.
If my judgment is bad, I either interrupt the flow (problem) or even get into an accident (bigger problem.)
This is why inexperienced people make bad choices. They are still learning all the changing components of the unique situation and "guessing" the best they can.
Inexperienced doesn't always mean "youth". Some people who haven't been exposed to different aspects of life (through circumstances or choice) don't have the tools to "guess" effectively. And some young people have incredible judgment because they've been building it from an early age.
So, how do you "build good judgment"? The same way you build good character or anything that is worthwhile and lasts:
1. Get curious. Purposefully expose yourself to new experiences. Don't passively wait for it to magically happen by accident.
2. Pay attention. Notice the details of the dynamics of how and why things happen. Notice the natural consequences. There's a reason consequences happen the way that they do.
3. Make the effort. You must build good judgment (bad judgment tends to be the default in Life.) Get engaged.
My client organization is making fantastic strides in optimizing their new experiences. They're not settling for some superficial/temporary "program of the month" - they are building a foundation - one "on purpose" experience at a time. They are becoming seasoned on their own terms...which will allow them to achieve their dream of changing the world.
What are you doing to purposefully achieve your dreams...on your own terms?
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
Their problem? They've discovered a troubling trend. They'll select an idea, then all start working out different aspects of that idea to being it into production, then - something invariably derails the process. Again and again, someone on the team (different every scenario) does something that causes the rest of the carefully laid dominoes to fall.
Bummer.
They've come to realize that the common denominator is "bad judgment". Their zeal, overdone, becomes a liability.
The key ingredient to good judgment is experience. Judgment requires comparing things and making an educated guess - a guess based on probability - gathered from the experience with the various aspects of the situation.
For example, if I'm in my car trying to pull out into busy highway traffic, I use my past experience to gauge the speed of the oncoming cars, the opening between certain cars on the road, my car's pick-up performance, my reflexes, etc. Then I act.
If my judgment is good, then I merge seamlessly into the flow of traffic. I have successfully "judged" the importance I placed on all the elements in an appropriate way.
If my judgment is bad, I either interrupt the flow (problem) or even get into an accident (bigger problem.)
This is why inexperienced people make bad choices. They are still learning all the changing components of the unique situation and "guessing" the best they can.
Inexperienced doesn't always mean "youth". Some people who haven't been exposed to different aspects of life (through circumstances or choice) don't have the tools to "guess" effectively. And some young people have incredible judgment because they've been building it from an early age.
So, how do you "build good judgment"? The same way you build good character or anything that is worthwhile and lasts:
1. Get curious. Purposefully expose yourself to new experiences. Don't passively wait for it to magically happen by accident.
2. Pay attention. Notice the details of the dynamics of how and why things happen. Notice the natural consequences. There's a reason consequences happen the way that they do.
3. Make the effort. You must build good judgment (bad judgment tends to be the default in Life.) Get engaged.
My client organization is making fantastic strides in optimizing their new experiences. They're not settling for some superficial/temporary "program of the month" - they are building a foundation - one "on purpose" experience at a time. They are becoming seasoned on their own terms...which will allow them to achieve their dream of changing the world.
What are you doing to purposefully achieve your dreams...on your own terms?
Think about it. But more importantly, do something about it...today!
Monday, August 24, 2009
What It Means To Earn Life Experience
Just thinking the other day about why some people have poor judgment. I mean, we all make mistakes - at times, even stupid ones, but why do some people grow and others wallow?
Well, it occurs to me the "normal" path that leads to growing as a person includes the following:
Burned - We either watch someone else get burned or we ourselves get burned - suffering the natural consequences of a bad choice. This experience is not a bad thing. It gets our attention. It gives us motivation to NOT repeat that mistake. If a mistake doesn't hurt, then we are sick, and in dire need of professional help. As I like to say: "The truth only hurts when it has to." If the truth hurts, then DO something about it. Change so that the honest truth feels GOOD.
Learned - After having a bad experience, healthy people (when they are paying attention) actually learn something. They connect the dots between the cause and the effect. They start to see the possible ramifications of certain actions (or certain LACK of action). Once you know, you cannot UNknow. Again, this is good. This is growth.
Turned - Learning does not change anything other than knowledge. That is only internal. To actually "bring that insight to life", we must implement. Knowing and Doing are two very different things. We all KNOW we should eat better and exercise, but how many actually DO it? Unless there is sufficient motivation for taking appropriate action, it is as bad (possibly worse?) than not knowing at all.
Earned - If a person takes appropriate action on a new (valid) insight, in the right way, then they will receive the natural consequences of that action - benefits and rewards. Of course, the act of implementing puts us all back in the cycle again - exposing ourselves to the possible pain of getting burned with a future misstep.
[Sidebar: Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know you can learn from pleasant experiences also - not just being burned. I just couldn't find a rhyme that matched the concept - so we all just have to deal with the disappointment of it not fitting in a tidy little package.]
For the best results, we can all focus on:
1. Taking appropriate risks - be willing to fail in order to optimize potential.
2. Stay aware of what is happening around us so we can connect the dots for improvement ideas.
3. Exercise the discipline to change behaviors. Consistent behaviors = consistent results.
4. Reap the benefits of the improvement - reinvest in future growth. Enjoy some too!
Think about it - but more importantly, do something about it...today!
Well, it occurs to me the "normal" path that leads to growing as a person includes the following:
Burned - We either watch someone else get burned or we ourselves get burned - suffering the natural consequences of a bad choice. This experience is not a bad thing. It gets our attention. It gives us motivation to NOT repeat that mistake. If a mistake doesn't hurt, then we are sick, and in dire need of professional help. As I like to say: "The truth only hurts when it has to." If the truth hurts, then DO something about it. Change so that the honest truth feels GOOD.
Learned - After having a bad experience, healthy people (when they are paying attention) actually learn something. They connect the dots between the cause and the effect. They start to see the possible ramifications of certain actions (or certain LACK of action). Once you know, you cannot UNknow. Again, this is good. This is growth.
Turned - Learning does not change anything other than knowledge. That is only internal. To actually "bring that insight to life", we must implement. Knowing and Doing are two very different things. We all KNOW we should eat better and exercise, but how many actually DO it? Unless there is sufficient motivation for taking appropriate action, it is as bad (possibly worse?) than not knowing at all.
Earned - If a person takes appropriate action on a new (valid) insight, in the right way, then they will receive the natural consequences of that action - benefits and rewards. Of course, the act of implementing puts us all back in the cycle again - exposing ourselves to the possible pain of getting burned with a future misstep.
[Sidebar: Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know you can learn from pleasant experiences also - not just being burned. I just couldn't find a rhyme that matched the concept - so we all just have to deal with the disappointment of it not fitting in a tidy little package.]
For the best results, we can all focus on:
1. Taking appropriate risks - be willing to fail in order to optimize potential.
2. Stay aware of what is happening around us so we can connect the dots for improvement ideas.
3. Exercise the discipline to change behaviors. Consistent behaviors = consistent results.
4. Reap the benefits of the improvement - reinvest in future growth. Enjoy some too!
Think about it - but more importantly, do something about it...today!
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